MAKE + WANDER

february 6, 2021

January was probably the longest January known to modern humankind?

Covid's still here, mutating (but thank goodness for the vaccine making its way into loved ones and strangers alike!).

There was a COUP on our nation's capital. Okay.

It's very cold here in Detroit (cold in January? Groundbreaking).

The "end" of the pandemic is near, but it's all still so ambiguous and uncertain and emotional as ever.

It's hard to imagine the future right now, and it's difficult to accept that it's been almost a year that we've moved to a city where we don't know anyone! Isolation station up in here! Very isolated! Very cold!

Despite it all, there are still bright lights (namely the sun lamp on its way to me) to look forward to. I made another mood board, because mood boards make me happy. I'll be carrying on the spirit of last month's board into February as well (especially in the painting and reading realm).

This month I'm hoping for some creativity, warmth, comfort, and less eczema-y hands so I can start wearing my ring collection again.

january 1, 2021

I don't remember the last time I actually did new year's resolutions, and I don't plan on ever doing them again.

I have always loved a good "restart" button to push: new seasons, new school semesters, new years. However, I've realized over the years (aka this past years-long year) that to be happy (or whatever), you need to be okay with pushing that button as many times in a day that is required to take hold of whatever it is that you're reaching for. If this year taught us anything (and I hope it did), it's that life can change rapidly. My refresh button on the New York Times homepage can attest to this.

This year has been one of survival, physically and mentally. Although I live a vastly privileged existence and am grateful for the luxuries it's allowed me--namely being able to work from home very part-time--I still spent most of the year extremely unsettled. I spent a lot of my days fluctuating between constant contact with the tragedies unfurling around the globe and my own circles to complete disassociation bolstered by hours-long naps, reruns of Gilmore Girls, new Taylor Swift albums, and the occasional half bottle of wine.

I've avoided my own self before, but after almost a year primarily in my own company, I feel the pull to reconnect the rusty wiring that ties my actions with my intentions. I truly hope that in 2021, I can go beyond mere survival and begin thriving.

What does thriving mean though? Honestly, it could change, but it looks a little bit like this mood board I made for January.

Yes, just January! No more of that I'm-Going-To-Predict-The-New-Year's-Possibilities.

I know what's possible in January, so I'm starting there.

life is weird, maybe i should blog again

i haven't blogged in a very, very long time.

but here i am. not worrying about capitalization because my keyboard is acting a bit strange and my excessive-hand-washing-induced eczema makes it annoying to put much effort into typing.

but i'm here. i'm healthy. i excitedly got a flu shot for the first time in a few years.

the news has been a headache, one i seem to keep instigating with NYtimes refreshes. every expectation of 2020 has spun out and i'm just trying to keep tabs on the dizzying stories. i should probably stop reading.

just checked again. i feel like i'm in a codependent relationship with the news right now! I can't stop checking in on it. what do i expect--good news?

anyway, just wanted to get back this lil corner of the internet that i control, and no one actually reads? i don't know!

crafting a morning ritual

♥

I used to HATE mornings and would roll my eyes whenever anyone mentioned the words "morning ritual" (but secretly read a LOT of blogposts about how to create one...). As someone with anxiety about most things in life, mornings do not come easily to me. After all, getting out of bed means facing those anxieties, and who wants to really do that?

After many years of trying to cultivate a morning routine for myself with varying levels of success, I have finally found one here in NYC that seems to do the trick, at least for now. I think the chaos of big city life really pushed me to cultivate a routine to ground myself each day. I've also given myself the liberty to not stick rigidly to a super specific routine--because that just causes more anxiety, which is counterproductive to my goal of finding a sense of calm before my day.

Here's what I've come up with, in no particular order:

Make coffee at home in my Chemex. It takes more effort to make pour-over than rely on a coffee machine, but the ritual of it slows and calms me down. I used to not like coffee, but am so happy I do now because it's such a great way to pause before starting your day.

Cuddle Pierre on the couch while we listen to, read, or watch something that will make me feel full. Today was the latest episode of Self Service. Other go to's: Morning playlists on Spotify, my latest binge-worthy TV choice, Skimm and Skint emails.

Bring Pierre to the dog park. Not only does it make me smile to have him happily lead me to Washington Square Park with the giant fluffy tail of his, but it is also a good way for me to get outside early in the day and wake up my spirit for the day ahead. Dogs are the best, people! Very few other things in life fill me with such joy.

Look over my plans for the day. I'm dipping my toes into the world of freelancing (with teaching, graphic design, and petsitting), so this is more important than ever! Since I don't currently have a traditional full-time job, I'm learning how to balance out my days so that I accomplish what I need to be successful. I've learned that for me, keeping a digital planner (via my Apple calendar) is much more realistic than a physical planner. Agendas are SO cute, but my brain works a little differently. I get a lot of anxiety about timing, so having the flexibility of moving around an event on a screen is helpful and comforting to me. Also, COLOR CODING, Y'ALL. Color coding is a must for me, and I love being able to streamline my system in a way that makes sense to me.

Whew! Finally, something that works for me. About time.