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This quote is very important for me to remember. My biggest fault is that I am very prone to comparison. Since high school I have caught myself comparing myself to my good friends, which isn't a good idea. If you knew my friends personally, you would understand. Who could blame me? My friends are hilarious, creative, awesome geniuses.
How could I ever be a better writer, baker, student, crafter, etc....?
The answer isn't relevant. There's no way I could match someone else's (usually natural) talent simply because I want to be just as good, or better. If it were that simple, what would be the point of anything? Life isn't about simply being good at the things you wish to excel at. That would be way too easy, and certainly not as fulfilling as striving for success in something that you have plenty of room for improvement.
The more you think about the concept of comparing yourself to someone else, the more absurd it seems. Every individual has their own set of experiences, successes, failures, talents, and dreams. To compare yourself belittles how special, unique, and complex human beings are. It's human nature to compare yourself to others, but that doesn't mean it's a pastime worthy of consuming your time. That time would be much better spent working on the things you want to get better at.
However, comparison is something that inevitably comes up as you're trying to come to terms with who you are, what you want to become, and how others will perceive you for this.
Through these revelations, I've realized the things that make me ME, even if they are by no means "perfected"... I'm more of a "handmade" person, for lack of a better word. Very rarely do I see perfection as the ultimate goal. In fact, I try to avoid the word "perfect" completely, because it's such a bizarre concept to begin with. My goals usually consist of making myself and others happy, even if the cookies aren't perfectly frosted, or the dress isn't immaculate down to every stitch. I think that this makes me Kaylie, and I'm okay with this. Or at least, I am realizing that I should be okay with this.
I'm definitely not the best writer, baker, student, or crafter, but these are things I strive to improve in, and more importantly--they are the things that make me happy (yes, even school). I think that the desire to improve in a certain field speaks more about your character than simply being good at something.
Is comparison something you struggle with? What do you do to knock some sense into yourself?
11 comments:
"My goals usually consist of making myself and others happy" - i like this. making people truly happy is such an honor : )
Hey, I'm new here and I really like your blog :)
Comparison is something I do have problems with and since I'm still in high school, everyday there are tons of people around who are better at everything than me. It's difficult for me to accept that, especially because I don't have any particular outstanding talents or even ones that define me. I find that being around accepting people that I love will usually help me accept that I'm okay the way I am.
Yes! I feel like I struggle with it a lot, especially when it comes to art and photography. I know quite a few amazing artists and photographers that are my age and I always feel like my work is terrible because there's is so great. I know this is ludicrous, but it's often how I think. I need to change that.
Lina,
That's a great way to put it--it is an honor!
Julianne,
Welcome! :) I agree that finding an accepting group of people is very important. Don't be afraid to try new hobbies, because even though it might take a while to find your niche, you will have support and encouragement from those you love.
Lizzie,
Yeah, I definitely think being a creative person intensifies these feelings, because there is an element of having to prove yourself as unique. The presence of blogs and pinterest (although inspiring) also harbor these feelings. Never give up your passions!
I am the worst at comparing myself to others.
However, I usually just let the comparison fuel me to be MORE.
I really struggle with this... don't really know what to say. Still getting over the ballet mentality of comparing everything. It isn't health. Also, for what it's worth, I think you are awesome and talented and I'm sure the friends that you admire think so as well because they are friends with you!
Lizzi,
That is the best way to utilize such feelings!!
Anastasia,
I can't even imagine the stress that comes with the dancer version of this--I know it's hard.
Thank you for the support! You are so sweet. :)
Very very true. It's no good comparing yourself to others, but it's just something humans can't help but do anyway. It's so difficult to stop doing it but so much healthier.
This is a really good point. I know that sometimes "comparing" can lead spur me on to try harder, but you're right that a lot of times it just leads to frustration that I'm not better at something.
When I'm starting to feel down that I'm not as good as someone else at something, I try to remember to remind myself that everyone had to start somewhere. No one is just awesome at something the first time they try it… which, gives me the space to learn and grow and start my journey to becoming great.
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