senior citizen

(photo)

Senior year means a lot of things:  applications, college visits, suspicious-looking envelopes from your dream college that end up being a brochure (gah!), abbreviated schedules (hello three classes and yearbook all afternoon), quick trips to Sprouts for deli sandwiches during lunch, late nights doing homework not because you have a huge load but because you almost forgot about it completely, Prom dates (or lack thereof), and don't forgot such shenanigans as pranking fast food restaurants and telling Village Inn it's your birthday when it's really not. 

Yes, sometimes it's a lot, but mostly it's just a whole lot of fun.  Yet tonight after Chipotle and No Strings Attached with a bestie (aka best thing ever) I realized one thing very important about this year:  after three years of high school, I feel like I have finally completely (or so I think--let's remember that us teenagers think we know everything, but alas, we don't) grasped how the whole awkward, heartbreaking, completely embarrassing business works.  Or, at least I've learned a few things.  Here they are, in no particular order:

• Never take yourself too seriously.  It physically pains me when I see someone taking him or herself too seriously.  If you don't know how to laugh at yourself, you have a long road ahead of you (and I will be one of the people on the sidelines laughing for you at your ridiculousness--sorry!). 

• Actually study. No, really.  I really should have gone in to get help at lunch with Geometry, Algebra 2, and Trig instead of getting as much face time with my current crush (that I probably embarrassed myself in front of anyway) or my current book.  I always ended up having to go in at the end of the quarter anyway to make up for all the confusion that built up (me and numbers are not great pals). No crush, however adorable and charming, is worth being confused.  But perhaps the book...

• Cool is subjective.  To me, to be cool is to be intelligent, witty, humble, compassionate, and stylish.  Never think you aren't cool, because while others may think you aren't, the people you think are cool will think that you are too. 

• Find others who appreciate what you have to offer.  Don't waste your time and energy on people who take advantage of your kindness and good nature.  Spread the love, but know who are your acquaintances and who are your true friends.  A true friend will appreciate the effort you put into your relationship (and themed birthday parties) and reciprocate (and let you help with theirs).

• High school boys are stupid, dumb, immature, and clueless.  It's not that I haven't met lovely boys in my high school experience (I have) or that I haven't crushed majorly on perfectly lovely and attractive boys (maybe once).  But you know what?  Even the lovely ones are stupid, dumb, immature, and clueless.  I know plenty of girls who are talented, beautiful, independent, and creative (and have blogs) that any guy in their right mind would be lucky to have.  This is where the stupid, dumb, immature and clueless kicks in.  However sensitive a boy seems, these are not the kinds of things they look for at our age.    I also know that high school boys are something  I never ever want to have to deal with again.  So I'm not.  I think about a month or two into senior year I gave up.  Giving up has never felt so good!  I've had boyfriends in the past, and while they were fun at the time, I kind of cringe at that time in my life, being clueless and slightly immature myself (but never stupid or dumb).  The thing is, although awkward high school relationships build character and a hilarious repertoire of adolescent anecdotes, they mean and amount to nothing after a year, or even in some cases, a mere month, of mourning their eminent demise.  So don't worry about getting one so much.  If it happens, it happens.  Crushing can be a lot of fun, but it's called crushing for a reason.  Don't be surprised when you're crushed into a pulp.  Remember that true happiness is from within.  Don't rely on others to be the source of your happiness, or you will forget the simple things that bring you joy and unabashed bliss (like crafting or spilling your heart to the whole wide blogosphere).

• Don't be afraid to speak up.  I still struggle with this, because I have this bad habit of thinking what I have to say isn't valuable enough to vocalize.  Clearly, I do not have this problem with writing, but I digress.  You may often regret saying too much, but at least you didn't say too little.

So there it is, what I think I've learned.  Here's to this fall, when I will undoubtedly embarrass myself multiple times, desperately want a bearded Portland man for my boyfriend, and possibly perfect the art of procrastination.  Yet that's the thing you must learn above all--you never stop learning.