a view from our table

Instead of doing something productive like packing or sleeping, I have been lured into my iPhoto folders.  I couldn't help but post these pictures from my freshman through senior years' (mostly lunch) tables.  The thing I love about my group of friends (and oh how I love them, especially after a lovely "going away" get together tonight at my house) is that we welcome everyone with open arms.  Yes, we were that kind of table.  The table that people stop by to say hi, and end up sitting there every day for the rest of the year.  There was something magical about our group that attracted all kinds of people.  Sure, some of them came and went after a semester or two, but fortunately the good ones usually stuck around.  It all started with me, Erin, Domenico, and Kate. 

FRESHMAN YEAR

Last day of 9th grade.

Oh my, look at that goober.  I haven't changed much at all.

SOPHOMORE YEAR

Erin and Domenico.  Have I ever mentioned that two of my best friends have been happily married for five years?

Okay, so they're not married (although I told them after each snapshot I took--and there were many--that it was for their "Save the Date"), but FIVE YEARS, GUYS!  The only boy I've liked that long is Harry Potter.  Let's give them a hand!

JUNIOR YEAR

Ah, the library.  Every morning we would go there to chat, study miniature vocab cards last minute (well, in my case at least), and take silly photos (I was photo editor of the yearbook, so Bernard was my right-wing man).

Dahlya. Some things never change.

Typical Domenico facial expression.  Typical Nathan sunglass-wearing.

Rylee and Eric.  Cutest couple to come out of Junior year (or at least I think that's when they became a couple?  Seriously, I think my group of friends has some of the coolest, longest-lasting couples I have ever encountered...).

Junior year was when I discovered my immense love of hats (and photography, thanks to yearbook).  Oh yes, I was soooo artsy.  I mean, look at that beret and that thoughtful gaze.

Rachel is just the cutest redhead alive.

SENIOR YEAR

That awkward moment when I accidentally proposed to Melanie... The only pictures from the lunch table I can find are from Valentine's Day, probably because I was all over the place for most lunches due to yearbook (and Bernard, my yearbook camera, was no longer my man).  Holidays were special though.  My friends and I are a crafty bunch and many homemade treats were exchanged during holidays.

Thankfully, Phoebe shared my extreme love for the frilly holiday.  Although she would show up with yummy treats on any given day!

Also, here are some pics from "Bro Awareness Day"...

MORAL OF STORY:  Yep, we are awesome.

Hi, I'm Kaylie. I'm not a Mormon.

*Disclaimer:  I have many Mormon friends and I love them dearly.  I am not posting this to be offensive!  I would be lying if Mormonism wasn't a huge factor in growing up where I live.  Dahlya posted the other day about how Mormonism is currently in the spotlight due to the musical Book of Mormon, so I thought I'd share my experience with the religion.

"Are you Mormon?"

I remember the first time I was asked this.  I was in daycare.  We were about to watch a movie.  I think it was one of the Home Alones.  I had never heard the word before in my life.

"I don't know.  I don't think so.  I will ask my mom," I replied.

A few months, or perhaps a year later, one of the daycare ladies (who was very good at French braiding my hair and therefore whom I liked) gave me a ring.  It was small, silver, and had a green shield pendant with CTR inscribed on it.  It was a ring, so I wore it.  I was probably six.

When my mom noticed me wearing it, I don't think she was angry, but I remember feeling embarrassed that I had no idea what it meant further than "Choose the right".  So it had begun.

This was not the last time I was asked if I was Mormon.  When I started second grade at my new elementary school, the first thing other students would ask me was "Are you Mormon?"  By this time I knew what it meant, but it wasn't until recently that I've understood the religion in more depth (and I know for a fact I will never truly understand every aspect).  At the time, Mormonism to me was, Something everyone else was; something I was not.

Growing up in a Mormon community had its definite perks.  Most Mormon kids were "good kids" and their moms always brought in awesome homemade treats.  I remember one mom even made individual cakes for my mom's Valentine's Day party for her class.  No complaints there.

Yet, behind all the tasty perks, there was a definite feeling of being an outsider.  I am completely comfortable in my own beliefs now, but growing up it was slightly intimidating being surrounded by so many people who were so confident in their beliefs (which I would say is one of Mormons' most admirable traits).  It is in the human condition to want to belong, and I didn't.  Yes, I know I wasn't the only one, but sometimes it could feel that way.  Until late elementary school, I spent most of my time trying to fit in with my Mormon friends.  I would accept their invites to their Ward for craft sessions (I remember telling my mom, "So THIS is how they are so crafty!  They learn it at church!") and when I realized how many rules they had, I began to feel like I didn't have enough (which I eventually realized was ridiculous of me to think).

By the time elementary school ended, I had settled into a non-Mormon group of friends in time for the already awkward experience of middle school.  At least I wasn't alone anymore.  Did I mention that the elementary school and junior high school I went to is separated by only a Mormon church?  Yep, you better believe it.

Well, junior high is awkward.  End of that story.  On to high school!

High school in my hometown is not the typical high school experience, especially dating-wise.  Mormons aren't allowed to date until they are sixteen, so when they do, they go ALL OUT.  I was never fortunate to be invited on an epic Mormon date, but I have heard stories from my friends... And they certainly do go all out.  Cue the "feeling left out" and "everyone is taken or Mormon"!  (Don't worry, I got over it... Eventually.)  Once they are allowed to date, most Mormons (at least, this is what I observed in many of my peers) go on dating sprees.  Like, really cool, creative group dating sprees.

The thing that always confused me is that this is greatly encouraged.  Mormon teenagers are advised to date around and not get very serious until they are ready to get married (which is often at a relatively young age).  The hardest part is when you're a non-Mormon and 75% of the boys you fall for are 100% Mormon.  Because yes, they are nice guys.  But the thing about Mormon boys is that even Mormon girls know (probably much better, because they were brought up with this mindset) not to get too attached because boys leave for their two-year missions three years after they are finally allowed to date.  I wish someone had explained this all to me before I started liking boys.  Oh well.

Mormon girls dress modestly (and really well, I might add), which is something I don't think twice about here, but in other parts of the country this would be unusual, especially in a place as hot as Arizona.  Being crafty and modest myself, I have often been an "assumed Mormon."  Sure, I wear modest clothes (that I sometimes sew myself), bake homemade treats, and am usually in good spirits.  In that aspect, people think I could pass for a Mormon (which I find flattering, I must say, because Mormons are so hip).  However, when they are in AP Government with me and realize how un-Mormon my viewpoints are... Then they start to understand that I am far from it.

I have nothing against Mormonism or the people who practice it.  If I did, I probably wouldn't have spent the time and energy to write this blogpost and I probably wouldn't have as many good friends that are Mormon.  Although I know it's not the religion for me, I will go as far to say that it has impacted my life, not only by being handed a CTR ring or Book of Mormon (because that's happened as well).  Through my experiences growing up, I have had the opportunity to not only deepen my understanding of a religion that is misunderstood by much of the rest of the world, but to strengthen and question my own belief system.  For that, I am eternally grateful for the Mormons in my life.

smile like you mean it

The thing I will miss most about high school is Yearbook.  Actually, I don't think I will miss anything other than Yearbook.  This past Tuesday, the last day of Yearbook, was one of the most emotional days of my life!  I was verging on tears all throughout fourth and fifth hour as I worked on my EIC handbook.  To get ready for Glee, I put on the "Journey to Regionals" soundtrack and when "Don't Stop Believin'" came on, I almost lost it completely.  Not to mention "Over the Rainbow" and "To Sir With Love" came on... Geeze Louise.  "To Sir With Love"!!!!  They sang that song to Mr. Shuester.  Ah!  I was a wreck.  It wasn't until fifth hour that I finally broke into tears.  Epic hugging ensued.

After yearbook, I cried even more!  I am such a cry baby, you guys.  I was on the verge of tears all sixth hour as I finished converting layouts to send somewhere.  To torture myself even further, I still had my Glee music on, so I tried my hardest to keep it together during "My Life Would Suck Without You".  You being Mrs. Wrather, the editors, and the staffers.  When Mrs. Wrather and I said our (first) goodbyes, I lost it again.  I am so excited to move to Portland, but leaving behind Yearbook has been one of the toughest things I've ever done.

The night before graduation, I went to Kate's graduation party to eat all of Raquel's deliciously adorable cake pops.  Nom nom!

I feel like I have to clarify that the yearbook above has a plastic cover on it that says (in large sharpie print) where signers can not sign in the yearbook. Gotta love Tabz!

Crycrycrycry.  I felt so lame feeling so sad about leaving high school, but I literally had to keep myself together on the way from the yearbook room to my car.  When I got in the car, Glee made it worse AGAIN by playing "Pure Imagination"... GAH!

On my way to Sprouts for lunch (after a failed attempt to nap), it finally dawned on me:  I am going to Portland.  I am going to be freaking awesome in Portland!!!!  I haven't cried since.

The one thing I was worried about (you know how when you're nervous you tend to focus on the stupid little things?) was when I would switch the side of my tassel.  In complete Kaylie fashion, I was so calm about graduating that I forgot to even switch it.

My adorable family is adorable.

Phoebe is my baking buddy and Ken is my Glee buddy.  They are both going to Ivies.  They're just cool like that.

Three of my favorite sophomores/juniors.  Thanks Azlynn, for finally switching the side of my tassel!

I couldn't find Erin on the field at graduation, so we took a super classy photo in the theatre before Hangover 2.

After the movie, an impromptu dance party in the desert, I-Hop, and a party stop-by, we headed up to Falcon Hill Park to watch the sunrise.  I was pretty exhausted by this part, but I made it up and watch the sunrise with some of my besties.  I thought I would be sad at this point, but nope.

I have conquered Mesa.  Time to conquer Portland!

For my grad party, I wanted it to be as least serious as possible.  In the past I may have tried to make something like this "grown up" and classy, but no.  I said, BRING ON THE SLUSHIE MACHINE.  BRING ON THE COTTON CANDY MACHINE.  BRING ON THE CUPCAKES.

My parents rented a slushie machine, my mom made cupcakes, and my uncle used his free cotton candy rental.  IT WAS AWESOME.

Life is so good.

IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS I WILL BE GRADUATED.

senior prom

Prom was a blast!  My date, Cameron, somehow put up with me, our group was hilarious, dinner was delicious (sushi--yum!), and I did not have any fashion malfunctions (I made my dress, so I came equipped with one of my many mini sewing kits).  I love dances.  They are the one night of the year where I am a total hyprocrite and dance my heart out to all the songs I hate.  I may even sing along to every word...  However, they did play a few songs I enjoy, like Born This Way, which was a great last song to dance all out to because sadly (don't even get me started) in the past they would not play this song because it says "No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgendered life."  I am also happy to report that I overheard a A Very Potter Musical joke from across the table at dinner, and Ken made a Darren Criss reference.  Yes; it was a beautiful night.

different questions for the same thing

(photo)

For months (or if I'm completely honest, subconciously for over a year) I've known I'm moving to Portland.  Within the past month, I've decided where. 

Well, just when you think you know something, another question pops up:  What are you going to study?  A close relative to Where are you going to school?, this question creates even more internal conflict and awkwardness (at least in my experience).

The short answer is, I have no freaking clue, so stop bothering me about it. 

The long answer is, I have no freaking clue, but I wish I did, because then I would love for you to keep bothering me about it so I could bore you with an extensive explaination for my decision and hope you asked more questions.  But nope, I have no freaking clue, so stop bothering me about it. 

The practical answer is, I have no freaking clue, but that's okay, because most college students change their majors every other day, so stop bothering me about it.

The honest answer is, I have a clue, but I am nervous about sharing it with you because I feel like you expect something different from me and it makes me want to curl up into a ball and hide from your questions, so stop bothering me about it.

Well, if you haven't already guessed, I am having some trouble telling people what it is I plan on getting into when I start college.  And when I am having trouble confronting something like this, I like to blog about it.  It's like on Glee when a character can't talk about something, they sing about it!  Seems crazy, but I am the same way...except with blogging.  Which is fortunate for you, because you would probably cry if you had to listen to me sing about my feelings. 

So here it goes... 

I want to major in Theatre Design, specifically costume design.

I know what you're thinking, because it's what everyone thinks, and it's the reason why I am so hesitant about admitting this to people who ask that blasted question, What are you going to study?

When people ask me what I am going to study, they go into the question like they already know the answer.  I know this from experience. 

Person:  What are you going to study?
Me:  I'm not sure yet.  Something creative!
Person:  You're going into journalism, right?
Me:  No...  I just... No...
Person:  Oh, so English?
Me:  No...  I like writing and reading, but I don't enjoy writing about what I've read... Which is what English majors do.  All the time.  So... No... Not happening...
Person:  Oh okay, so what are you going to study?
Me:  I have no idea, honestly!  Something creative... I don't... know.  (Curls up into a ball.)

I understand where Person is coming from, and have nothing against Person, (especially because Person is about every person I know or even half-way know) but I still loath the assumptions Person makes.

Yes, I LOVE to write.  I LIVE to write.  If I didn't write, I would explode.  I really would.

Yes, I LOVE to read.  I HATE to write analytical essays.

Yes, I LOVE yearbook.  I am editor-in-chief of my high school's yearbook! Yearbook has literally been my life these past three years.  My high school experience=Yearbook.  I would have it no other way.

Person's assumption is valid, especially those who only know me as EIC of the yearbook.  I understand, but what I can't handle is the level of expectation in Person's voice when they talk to me about my plans.  It plunges me even deeper into my curled-up ball of uncertainty.  Well, if x amount of people assume I should be a journalist or English teacher, maybe they're right?  Maybe I am just kidding myself?  Maybe I should just do what is expected of me and ignore the voice in my head saying, I can't picture it.  I just can't.  Maybe I could at some point, but I can't anymore.  Maybe Person knows what's best for me...

There are times when Person asks me (and it will have been the fifth Person that day) that I give in.  I tell Person what they want to hear, because it's easier than exposing myself.

Well Person, the charade is over.  I'm going to own up to it now.  I have a clue, so bother way.

For those I have told this to already, I have gotten a great response.  Because, yeah, it makes sense, I promise!

1.  Conjuring outfits and sewing are two of my greatest joys.  Furthermore, everything I wear has to "make sense" for the given atmosphere.   If I end up in a situation where I feel like my outfit is out of place, I literally feel sick to my stomach.  (Don't get me wrong, I wear dresses to school almost every day.  I am a chronic over-dresser, but not intentionally.  I just have an old-fashioned idea about everyday clothes.)

2.  I am obsessed with film and theatre (and television).  Every time I saw a play, musical, or dance performance when I was younger, I would ride the incredible theatrical high that it gave me until I realized with a deep, devastating sadness that I would never be able to be a part of such a magical thing because A) I can't act  B) I can't sing  C) I can't dance or even move around remotely graceful (AKA be this girl).  When it hit me how much attention I was giving the costumes and how happy they made me, I started entertaining the idea of costume design (but never took it very seriously).  I realized how beautiful costumes are, in the way that they create an atmosphere unlike one that even an actor can create and became infatuated with the idea of creating characters with clothes.  I can not count the times that I've started dressing a different way because a film or television show has inspired my thinking. (Anything set in the twenties always hits me the hardest.)

3.  Everything has to have its place or "make sense" or I freak out a little.  A performance can be completely lovely, but if one costume looks like it's not from the right time period or if a character is wearing something that doesn't seem fit for them...  I can't handle it.  I just can't.

4.  I love history and fashion.  Researching different time periods' fashion sounds like a dream come true.  End of story.

5.  Because it's the only thing I can picture myself doing the rest of my life.  I am one of those people  who wants to lead a creative life.  This means I am open for different opportunities as they present themselves.  I embrace any sort of team effort or collaboration.  However, I can't picture myself doing anything like "working for a magazine" or "writing for a newspaper" the rest of my life.  I will write whatever career I choose.  No one will stop me.  (But a freelance writer/blogger?  Yes please!)  On a creative level, I want to be a part of something more hands on, that will be a part of something much bigger than myself.  I like the idea of being a catalyst to someone's bigger picture and collaborating with different mediums to create something magical.  It's as simple as that--I can just picture it so clearly.

Short answer:  I think it would be freaking awesome and be a ton of fun.  The end.

winning for life

Today was blissful!  I took the AP Gov test (which didn't make me want to cry), got to show off the beautiful yearbook to anxious students at lunch, help run the yearbook signing party, and go home to watch Glee prom (after antagonizingly having to listen to my mom and sister watch the second half from my room, but it was worth it).  I could not have planned a more wonderfully full day--except perhaps minus the AP.

Stephanie & Katie with our plethora of balloons.  We probably could have set a small house afloat. Don't worry about it.

I didn't float away, much to the dismay of everyone who has made that joke to me since I was -97 years old.  So, the story behind the shirt:  Every year we have an end of the year shirt for yearbook.  It is always humorous (last year it was "Wolf pack" themed.  The Hangover, anyone?).  This year, we took a cue from Charlie Sheen.  WINNING.

The back says, "Made with TIGER BLOOD, SWEAT & TEARS."  Yeah, this makes us pretty awesome.  Not going to deny it.

AJ is a Lady Gaga balloon peacock.  (This isn't anything new.)

Me, Dahlya, and the gorgeous book (and some random photobombers). 

The theme is "Motto".  So, I have to ask (not like I haven't asked this question 93329939489389993999 times this school year already or anything)...

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

P.S.  I am behind on blogging, so stay tuned for the past month of everything Kaylie.  Oooh, aren't you excited?