future talk and folk music

Tonight is one of those nights.  The kind where the future is at once terrifying and exciting; when my dreams seem too big and my bank account too small.  As my last year of college and the "future" comes hurling fast towards me much like an unwieldy basketball during elementary PE that I really don't feel like I'm capable of catching, but somehow can and must, even if it hits me in the gut and makes me cry a little...well, I start to freak out and make long sports metaphors even though I haven't played a sport in years.

It's one of those nights when even catching up on Mad Men seems daunting, much less preparing for the future.

It's one of those nights when no amount of googling will tell me how to achieve my obscure life goals.

It's one of those nights when moody folk music seems like the only anecdote to restless thoughts and a messy room (or should I say, messy thoughts and a restless room).

It's one of those nights when I feel like I must be taking things too seriously, or not seriously enough.

It's one of those nights when instead of getting answers, you get more questions, but maybe an episode of Gilmore Girls will make everything seem a bit more doable.

3 comments:

Lizzie said...

I adore that picture of your desk. Yes, planing for the future with such a small bank account is all sorts of disheartening. I am so excited for Friday when I get paid and can actually buy more groceries. I appreciate living the frugal life too and I'm sure you do too! Maybe this is too large of a generalization, but I think craftier folk generally do.

Take care. Facebook message me your address ASAP so I can send along a mix. :)

Natalie said...

Haha, I loved your first paragraph metaphor. The thing is, if an unwieldy basketball came hurling at me in PE, I would have stepped out of the way and let it fall and get yelled at by my teammates... but we can't do that in real life... whoops. I guess that's why it's so scary, huh...

Dillon said...

I RELATE TO SO MUCH OF THIS. Especially the small amount in the bank part. Ugh. College.

Good luck with everything! Sometimes even google doesn't have the answers so you gotta find them out yourself.